Osama Bin Laden Touts Just For Men Endorsement In Latest Video
Osama Bin Laden, the world’s reigning Boogeyman for the past six years, has conveniently emerged from three years of seclusion just in time to scare complacent and skeptical Americans on the eve of another 9/11 anniversary. But while his rambling about taxes, Islam, and global warming are impressive enough, nothing has proven as soul-chilling as the announcement that he signed on as a Just For Men haircolor celebrity endorser.
“You infidels last saw me in 2004 as a feeble and graying man,” a defiant black-bearded Bin Laden proclaims, “but today I am the proud official spokesman for Just For Men. This company has brought much sexual joy to many Western men who wanted to fulfill sexual fantasies with younger women, and today’s partnership signals a new era for Muslim men who wish to impress their 72 doe-eyed virgins upon achieving martyrdom.”
Mr. Bin Laden proceeded to stroke his beard and smile for several minutes. The only audible sounds during this contemplative interlude came from his kidney dialysis machine, which was supplied by Gambro in a late 2001 endorsement while Bin Laden was holed up in the
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