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Al-Qaeda Cell Successfully Completes Mitosis

FBI agents in Orlando reported this week that a 23-member Al-Qaeda terrorist cell has just completed mitosis and could begin cytokinesis at a moment’s notice. As a sign of the cell’s inner strength and cohesion, the additional 23 terrorists materialized completely unbeknownst to the agents surveilling the safe-house.

“It seems to have happened overnight, right under our noses,” says FBI spokesman Ted Hurtz. “But as soon as we realized that cytokinesis was impending, we immediately stepped up our surveillance efforts which revealed that the new cell will relocate to Anaheim.”

As a result of this troubling news, Disney World and Disneyland have both increased their vigilance and added full-time bodyguards to all Mickey Mouse performers.

“Clearly Al-Qaeda was tipped off by somebody about the nuclear warheads stored in the tunnels beneath our happy theme parks,” said Disney spokesman Jean Kellogg. “I won’t speculate as to who could have given this information to the terrorists, but let’s just say that I won’t be surprised if some Universal Studios execs happen to commit suicide this weekend.”

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 26th, 2007 at 3:32 pm and is filed under Terrorism. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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