California Pedophiles Stock Up on Little Children as Part of Earthquake Preparedness
It lingers in the back of everyone’s mind in
For most people the list is simple: food, water, a first aid kit, toiletries—and for those with medical conditions perhaps extra doses of insulin or inhalers. But for the pedophiles of
“What if I am stranded in my neighborhood for three weeks?” asks Los Feliz pederast Mario Ornitez. “How would I survive without the innocence of at least one child on my bloody hands?”
It’s hard questions like these that have led Ornitez and many, many other local perverts to stock up on kids today, before a disaster. Now even some Catholic priests are following the lead of their flock.
“The Bible says, ‘The Lord shall provide,’ but,” according to Father Micah Baloney, “with the humanitarian disaster a major earthquake threatens, we men of the cloth need extra strength to aid us in serving the community. No doubt the four nubile young boys I have stockpiled will give me that extra umph.”
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