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Former Asylum Attendant Cashes In On Inmate’s Invention

Tyrone James, former attendant at Quincy Psychiatric Hospital in Illinois, has recently signed a patent contract with General Electric worth $3.5 million. His invention? The self-repairing incandescent light bulb. His inspiration? A deranged former scientist named Harold Edwards.

“Man, this cracker be pooping his pants talking about ‘eternal bulbs’ and shit. Once he tried to fight me with one of them fluorescent ceiling lights.”

But impressions aside, one weekend James proposed Edwards’s idea to his nephew Michael Willis, a PhD engineering student at the University of Chicago. A year later they had a prototype based on Edwards crayon drawings which Mr. James collected over the course of three months. Now, a few lawyers and successful tests later, James and Willis are on easy street.

“Man, I ain’t never forcing pills down no nutcase’s throat ever again,” a jubilant James says. “All those suicidal fools running around talking about Martians…peace!”

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 17th, 2007 at 8:52 pm and is filed under Science & Technology. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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