Cabo Wabo Be Damned, Illegal Aliens CAN Drive 55

In a sharp rebuke of US rock legend Sammy Hagar, and clearly unimpressed by his Cabo Wabo Cantina located in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, millions of Latino illegal alien drivers prove daily on American highways that they indeed can drive 55 (or under), and in the left lane to boot.

Visual studies conducted by many American-born drivers who would like to arrive at their destination sometime this century have confirmed that Central Americans who have snuck into this country illegally feel most comfortable driving their mid-80s Toyotas in the far left lane—erroneously referred to as the “fast lane”—at approximately 55 mph.

“It was a rare day of clear traffic on the 5 South,” recalls exasperated Los Angeles-area resident Kyle Miller. “I was going about 70 in the left lane when I came upon a mustached Mexican puttering along…my God, I nearly plowed into him!”

Glendale resident Gloria Nelson wonders, “Is this some sort of Latino cultural characteristic that I need to be sensitive to? I mean, at least Korean women drivers stay to the right while crawling along like an aborted snail.”

SNS reporters tried to interview several mid-80s Toyota owners who were parked in a 99 Cents Only store parking lot but only received the cryptic response, “U peek eppani?”

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