Israel Opens First Sane Asylum

Despite existing for over 50 years in one of the all around craziest places on earth, Israel has been forced to open its first sane asylum to deal with the burgeoning population of cognitively functional citizens. Many of the patients indicate a desire to leave the country for more peaceful areas of the world.

Psychologist Miriam Abraham, staff member at the Golem Chabad facility, relates Israel’s exasperation with the outbreak of sanity within the population.

“Right now we see more and more people who do not like the constant tension of terrorist threats, they do not like having to join the military at age 18, they even dislike our own government’s policies. It is obvious that these people are totally sane and we must take appropriate action.”

The facility was designed to house 300 people but in the first two weeks since opening it has nearly doubled capacity, with patients being forced to sleep in shifts.

“Wow, things are getting as crazy in here as they were back home,” says patient Emil Rosen with a sigh. “I think it’s time to go back to Russia where my family came from in 1966.”

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