Wary Of Ethical Concerns, Desperate Family Turns To Apple Stem Cell Research

Nine-year-old Timothy Crane has been suffering the ravages of a brain tumor for almost three years, and fearing that his young body can’t hold out much longer the boy’s desperate family is turning to an unlikely source for a cure: apple stem cell research.

“We’re not a particularly religious family,” says father Alan Crane. “However, my wife and I are just wary of the moral and ethical issues that embryonic stem cell research entails. Now, we’re not scientists either, but I’ll be damned if there isn’t something to be said for the power of the apple. After all, an apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

Dr. Kristof Sturm, head surgeon at the Morgan Cancer Institute in Sacramento, finds himself intrigued by the Cranes’ dilemma. “I have been treating Timothy for almost his entire illness, he is such a fighter, he has such heart. We’ve tried everything, my staff has exhausted all options. And what if Mr. Crane is right, that there is a cure in apple stems? There is a reason God chose the apple as the forbidden fruit, that to eat of it would impart worldly knowledge. Perhaps the metaphor actually holds a practical application.”

Pro-life groups immediately came out in support of the Cranes, but now a battle is brewing with environmentalists who warn that any toying with nature’s blueprints should be given a hard second look in the wake of such disasters as Chernobyl and Michael Jackson’s face.

But underneath all the political, ethical, and medical ramifications there is a sick little boy lying in a hospital room with bandages around his head—brave Timothy Crane, whose wise words should give us all pause.

“One night a nurse thought I was asleep and changed her clothes in front of me. My penis got all big and hard. That was cool.”

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