Fed Gives Struggling Local Business $2 Billion Cash Infusion

Al’s Tire Shop in Wichita Falls, TX, has fallen on hard times over the past two years, seeing a 35% drop in business in the past six months alone. So the Federal Reserve is stepping in with a $2 billion cash infusion before things really get out of hand.

According to Fed spokesman Ted Grenderson, “For nearly 100 years our private conglomeration of banks has stood as a storm wall protecting the US economy. It really was an easy decision to come to Al’s aid when we saw his business was failing.”

And just hours before press time, SNS has learned that Billy Morse, who lives five houses down the street from Al, will also receive $85 million to prop up his poorly run lemonade stand.

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