With Rubber Yellow Bracelets Dying Out, Fad Industry Seeks New Stupid Trend
The Livestrong wristband, a stupid yellow rubber bracelet that the Lance Armstrong Foundation created in 2004 to promote cancer awareness and research, has sold 70 million units to date as well as having spawned an obnoxious industry of spin-off “cause” wristbands. However, after three successful years of proving how suggestible people are regarding fashion and personal convictions, the fad industry is ready to move on.
Kimberly Glass, marketing specialist for NY firm Ragnarok Choi, says the time is right to convince people to do something new. “This wristband craze has succeeded beyond our wildest dreams. We had no idea it could possibly go on for three years. We even had Pentagon top brass visit us hoping some of our mind-control mojo would rub off on them as they launched a new ad campaign to convince the American people more wars against modern-day Goldsteins are a good idea.
“Our research teams,” Glass continues, “have done a ton of work out in the field for the past eighteen months to help us design an equally popular fad that incorporates fashion or a fashion accessory, a heart-wrenching cause, and can be mass produced by Third World labor for cheap so as to maximize profits.”
While no one at Ragnarok Choi would divulge the new fad candidates, SNS has been able to procure a partial list. It includes: Green tongue rings to promote tonsillitis awareness; actually wearing condoms during anal sex to prevent the spread of HIV; pink visors to stand in solidarity with the troubled-celebrity distraction of the week; and a bull’s eye sticker to be worn on the forehead by gun control advocates.
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