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Parrot Really Enjoying Owner’s Subscription to Miami Herald

Ajay, the South American parrot belonging to Coral Gables resident Harold Strong, has sworn his allegiance to the Miami Herald. This according to Strong, who says that after every tasty meal of nuts and dried fruits, “Ajay drops a wet green poop onto the newspaper at bottom of his cage. The Miami Herald is probably one of the worst papers in the country,” the Connecticut native asserts, “but old Ajay has really taken a liking to it so I decided to keep my subscription.”

Recent studies have shown that as more and more people turn to the internet for believable news, traditional newspapers are primarily being bought for their use in non-reading activities. Examples include paper mache crafts, toilet paper by the homeless, and wrapping fish and chips at restaurants.

Carl Henkin, circulation supervisor for the Los Angeles Times, is aware of the crisis facing print newspapers today. “People are bored with the same old stories told decade after decade. They’re sick of double full-page car and department store ads. The internet offers them an unlimited variety of subject matter that goes much more in depth than anything we write, and if they get bored they can visit an adult website, do their business, and then resume reading. I’d be lying if I didn’t acknowledge we’re in trouble, that it’s hard to compete with those kinds of options.”

But with birds like Ajay and countless house pets around the country still making use of newspapers two, three, sometimes eight times a day, the paper wing of the nation’s propaganda machine can sleep easy knowing there will always be subscribers.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 5th, 2007 at 6:13 pm and is filed under Culture. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.

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