Native Americans Defile Ancient Dinosaur Burial Ground

According to a dinosaur rights activist, the Northern Arapaho Indian tribe is guilty of defiling a sacred ancient dinosaur burial ground two years ago when it expanded the Wind River Casino in Riverton, Wyoming.

“These dinosaurs rested peacefully for tens of millions of years before being disturbed and corrupted by greedy casino owners,” proclaims Gillian Carmichael, a 38-year-old dinosaur rights activist from Montana. “These so-called Native Americans have adopted the same soulless ways of European-descended whites. It’s no wonder we see the curses befalling them today.”

Originally opened it in 1992, the casino has witnessed a series of strange events that have taken place in and around its new wing since late 2005. Gamblers have reported hearing screeching sounds in the bathrooms which resemble the noises dinosaurs made in the Jurassic Park movies. One couple returned to their car after an evening of playing slots to find a giant mud footprint on the hood.

Carmichael explains: “No doubt the spirits of these dinosaurs have been awakened from their peaceful slumber. I mean, when I’m awoken from a deep slumber I’m very cranky—can imagine how mad you’d be if someone woke you up after 60 million years?

“The implications,” she continues, “are mind-boggling. Where on the planet can one go and do anything without upsetting some ancient spirit? Be it the wooly mammoths of the tundra, the trilobites at the bottom of the sea, or Neanderthal remains in Italian caves, the earth is teeming with souls we must not disturb at all costs. Otherwise prepare to be haunted forever!”

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