Human Body Participates in 55 Trillion Cell March
The human body belonging to Reno resident Leopold Krane staged a 55 trillion cell march near city hall yesterday. Distal tubule cells, ductulus efferens ciliated cells, pericyte cells, and olfactory receptor neuron cells were among the countless microscopic parts which contributed to the largest march ever since human recorded history began some several hundred years ago.
“I have always been impressed—no, wowed by the images on my TV screen of events like the Million Man March, the Million Mom March, and the Five Hundred Fag Fiesta,” said a proud Mr. Krane. “Even though I never had a cause I could relate to, I really wanted to get out there and have my own spectacular event. So I got together with the approximately 55 trillion cells in my body and we agreed to participate in this march.”
But like with all Guinness Book records, competition is fierce. Krane is a lean 160 pounds, which equates to 343,750,000,000 cells per pound—his next door neighbor Neil Ungar is over 300 pounds and threatens to march with his own 103 trillion cells if Mr. Krane doesn’t return his power drill.
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