Anheuser-Busch Launches New Brew: Bus Fare Beer
Last year Anheuser-Busch’s marketing department, in a joint effort with the research and development team, stumbled upon a large, untapped segment of the nation’s beer-drinking population: middle-aged homeless men in need of bus fare.
“The irony was,” reports Anheuser-Busch researcher Marjorie Brown, “that in all our clinical trials in which we gave said homeless man the amount required for his bus ride, he inevitably made his way into a liquor store first and came out with a cold beer.”
That’s when the ingenious breakthrough came. According to marketing director Kevin Schultz, “Here we have a high-percentage target demographic: homeless alcoholics who are pathetic and transparent in their chicanery. What better than to design a beverage just for them which will guarantee market dominance and customer loyalty for the mercifully short remainder of their pitiful lives?”
Thus Bus Fare Beer was born. It features a label that resembles the thin brown paper bag most derelicts drink their beers out of in the belief that passersby won’t realize they are getting drunk at 10 in the morning.
So the next time an unfortunate Gulf War I veteran asks you for bus fare, toss him a wink with that quarter. Bus Fare Beer: For That Long Walk Home.
No Responses to “Anheuser-Busch Launches New Brew: Bus Fare Beer”
No comments yet