Siamese Twins’ Novelty has Officially Worn Off
Timmy and Tommy Gibbons were once the rave of the public school system of
But now that they’ve made the jump to high school, the novelty has apparently worn off. Amber Miller spoke for many students when she said, “Like, there’s not a lot of time between classes, so if I’m like trying to meet my friends down the hall to bum a cigarette or something and I can’t get by because these two people joined at the hip are walking like one mile an hour and blocking my way, who gives a crap if they’re a ‘medical miracle’?”
Brad Caulfield, a borderline learning disabled classmate, expressed his discontent about the twins’ style of answering questions in class. “It’s bad enough for me when everyone else knows the answers and I don’t, but to have two people spit out the right answer in harmony, it hurts, ya know? And it’s kinda gay too.”
In tears, Timmy and Tommy spoke of no longer being appreciated. “Two thousand years ago the Greeks would have slaughtered us in the mountains,” Timmy said. “Two hundred years ago we probably would not have survived infancy. And one hundred years ago they would put us in the freak show at the circus.”
“But now,” continued Tommy, “when all the medical and societal barriers have been broken down, we’re learning that you still have to be cool in high school, conjoined twin or not.”
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