FBI Witness Protection Member Getting The Hang Of Anonymous Sex
Saying he’s “having the best fucking time of my entire goddamn life,” a waiter from Chicago who witnessed two men shot execution-style by drug dealers in the alley behind the restaurant where he worked, is now getting the hang of anonymous sex.
“I used to introduce myself to women, ask them on a date, have long interesting conversations, and maybe by the fourth or fifth date we’d bang, ya know?” he says. “But now that I’m under the protection of the FBI, all of a sudden I’m mysterious. And chicks dig that! Shit, when you don’t tell them anything it’s like their clothes just fall off they’re so curious about you.”
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