Older Homosexual Administers First AIDS To New Trophy Boyfriend
When 45-year-old Jeremy Acres returned to his bedroom after slipping into something more comfortable to find his 18-year-old date Tyler Tubbs naked and breathing passionately on the bed, the HIV-positive former lifeguard knew what to do.
He immediately threw off his silk bathrobe, dove under the sheets, and performed life-taking first AIDS. When mouth-to-mouth only […]
Man Takes Second Job To Pay For All The Toilet Paper His Girlfriend Uses
Three months after moving in with his girlfriend of one year, Minneapolis resident David Greene has been forced to take a second part-time job in order to pay for her toilet paper habit.
“I just can’t believe how much Julie goes through in a week,” an exasperated Greene explains. “Of all the things I imagined that […]
Wife Enters Third Bad-Haircut Phase
Last Saturday at Glamour Paramour Salon, Marnie Wilkins officially entered her third bad-haircut phase since getting married five years ago. Adapting remnants of the previous phase—which featured long hair all around except for the bangs, which were cut obscenely short and virtually plastered to the forehead—Marnie decided to “just chop it all off and […]
Would-Be Fiancée Not Impressed By Activist Boyfriend’s Lollipop Ring
A political activist obsessed with global human rights issues is experiencing a human relations disaster with his longtime girlfriend after proposing to her using a diamond-shaped lollipop ring instead of the real thing.
“Companies like De Beers in South Africa have warehouses full diamonds stockpiled,” an energized Cory Matthews explains. “They have a monopoly on the […]