US Postal Service Considers Taking Every Monday Off
Anyone who runs a mail-order business is painfully aware that the United States Postal Service (USPS) seems to be closed almost every other Monday, especially between Labor Day and President’s Day. Therefore it will come as no surprise that USPS officials are debating a new plan that would reduce customers’ exasperation and surprise by simply […]
Houses For Sale Burn In Latest Malibu Wildfire
In a posh neighborhood already hurting from the ongoing nationwide mortgage meltdown, residents who couldn’t sell their homes now look forward to claiming insurance money for them after fires fueled by the Santa Ana winds destroyed them this weekend.
“Our house was on the market for 18 months,” laments Hollywood producer Carl Mercer, “and we were […]
Nation’s Talking Heads Return From Summer Vacations, Calamity Forthcoming
As August comes to a close, the last of the nation’s hundreds of big- and small-name talking heads are returning from vacation and America braces for something big, bad, and newsworthy to happen. It could be a “terrorist” attack, a financial meltdown, or a natural disaster.
But the important thing is that it did not […]
Heavy Metal Music Blamed for All-Day Apartment Cleaning
It was a gruesome scene Saturday morning at the Sacramento apartment shared by Aaron Mills, 24, and Brett Kelly, 22. The pair had hosted a birthday party for Kelly’s girlfriend Maya the night before, and the bachelor pad was now a wasteland of beer cans, pizza boxes, and spilled potato chips.
But six hectic hours […]
Cleveland Suburb Scene of Vicious Murder-Shoe Shine
Shaker Heights, a small suburb of Cleveland, is in shock this week after a brutal murder-shoe shine that has left one woman dead and her husband looking like a million bucks.
Gary Thorn, 35, is accused of shooting his wife Mallory to death with a .9mm pistol on Sunday, then driving to the local shopping mall […]
California Man Fights Off Intruder With Locked Gun Case
Chula Vista resident Ryan Emerson legally owns a Remington 12 gauge shotgun—so when someone broke into his home on Monday night he immediately went to retrieve it so as to protect his family.
California law mandates that firearms be stored with a cable lock through the action, and that ammunition be stored separately, also locked. […]
USPS Announces New Testicular Cancer Stamp
This May 14th men’s rights groups around the country will celebrate a long sought victory: when the United States Postal Service raises its rates for the fifth time since 2001, included in the release will be the Testicular Cancer Stamp.
“The USPS currently has three fundraising stamps,” says Todd White, founder of End Emasculation Now, “two […]
American-Born Drivers Excited About May 1 Immigration Rally
If the illegal immigration rally that took place in Los Angeles May 1, 2006, is any indication, American-born drivers are in for a treat tomorrow as traffic on the freeways will fall to levels not seen since the 1960s.
“It was like, we got from Pasadena to Santa Monica in 15 minutes,” recalls a teary-with-nostalgia Jonathan […]
Cabo Wabo Be Damned, Illegal Aliens CAN Drive 55
In a sharp rebuke of US rock legend Sammy Hagar, and clearly unimpressed by his Cabo Wabo Cantina located in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, millions of Latino illegal alien drivers prove daily on American highways that they indeed can drive 55 (or under), and in the left lane to boot.
Visual studies conducted by many American-born […]
The Real Hero of the Virginia Tech Massacre: Jew Jajewjew
Nearly two weeks ago an unspeakable horror was unleashed on the campus of Virginia Tech when a possible MK Ultra gunman slaughtered 32 students with two very low caliber handguns. But when tragedy strikes, heroes always rise to the occasion.
We saw the local police running back and forth across the campus, we saw trained […]